Dirty Little Secrets & The Little White Lie

by Danielle N. Hall

4/26/16

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I can’t believe what “he” did to me
It’s truly a crying shame
Who is this “he” you might be asking
Well, there are too many to name

“He” touched me when I was little
In places that were meant for my spouse
I was nervous AND I was afraid
Yet I remained as quiet as a mouse

“He” asked me “Are you ready?”
Inside, I had screamed “NO!”
I wanted to run, but was paralyzed by fear
And I could not manage to go

“He” didn’t have a knife
Nor did “he” hold a gun to my head
“He” stood there ready to conquer
But used manipulation instead

“He” whispered in my minor ears
And said “If it’s all night, it’s all right!”
The next day we entered a secluded place that was void of both safety and light

“He” kissed me and then “he” asked
“Do you want me to put it in?”
I was very confused, yet I refused
However, the next day “he” tried again

Now, this time I didn’t refuse
And decided “Ok. We’ll try.”
Once again I’d been manipulated
But now by another guy

When it was over, I thought to myself
“Ok. I made it through.”
Later I thought: “What in the world have I done? What did I get myself into?”

I actually thought “he” loved me
How silly was I and what was I thinking?
I was in too deep, and in a deep sleep…
Was intoxicated, yet I wasn’t drinking

Exposed to so much before it was time, but convinced I had things under control
To myself I had lied. I was broken inside, but on the outside I appeared to be whole.

My smile is now real and there’s a difference in how I feel.
What I’ve shared is a piece of my “THEN”
My history had me bound and holding my head down, but NOW I’ve gotten my smile again

That monster called “he”, may have stolen something from me…something that wasn’t for the taking
But God’s restored the years and dried those inner tears
Inside my heart is no longer breaking

I’m daily renewed with a new point of view
I’m still here to tell my story
Those bad things that happened will work for my good and, somehow, God will get the glory

I could be bitter, I could be depressed
As a matter of fact that was the old me
I’ve gotten my joy back and a new hold on life
I thank God I’m totally free!!!

The secret is out…no more shame or doubt. From now on I vow to be bold.
I will hold my head high…in spite of the fact…
This is one of the hardest true stories I’ve ever told.

26 thoughts on “Dirty Little Secrets & The Little White Lie”

  5. It’s good to have the courage to tell your story. Lot of women in this world can do this. And it’s good to see someone share the same story has you. I love what you doing. Keep it going girl. I see what God it doing for you. And you answer him with open arms. Love your movement.

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  7. Our testimonies are similar so this really speaks to me. My favorite line: “Those bad things that happened will work for my good and, somehow, God will get the glory”. That is what gets me through the hard days.

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  8. Continue on my dear. You are a strong black woman and an over comer. It’s takes a lot of strength to give such a powerful testimony. You are not alone as you know. God bless you Danielle for helping others to let go of fear. I know it’s working. Love you Sis.

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  9. I love you and your boldness!! Prayerfully many women will be encouraged and stop beating themselves up because it wasn’t their fault, either! Now is the time to release the shame and the blame of these experiences!! You have overcome and you’ve taken your power back! Bless God!!! Keep growing in Him!!!

    ❤️❤️
    Auntie A.

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    • Thank you…this means so much to me. The time is definitely NOW! Freedom feels real good and I want those who have gone through these types of experiences to know that they’re not alone and to release the burden of them.

      I love you and I appreciate you!!!
      💜💜💜

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  13. Thank you Danielle for sharing your story. I thank God for allowing you to get to this place of boldness…of fearlessness! Be blessed…keep growing…keep believing! I love you “Twin” 😉

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  14. My cousin, my friend. My, my I have seen you grow and the change in you, but to hear you speak so powerfully and eloquently about something so ugly nearly brought me to tears (of joy!). Let Him use you!! 😃

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    • This means a lot to me. You’ve been present during some of the darkest periods of my life that appeared fine externally. I love you bunches and I thank you for your loving support and encouragement 😊💗

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