Hello From The Other Side

by Danielle N. Hall

7/26/2016

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably window shopped at least once or twice in your life. I’ve seen some display items that were appealing, and others not so much. I must say that I may have even unfairly estimated how good a store was based on what I could see from the outside.

The truth is, this type of bias is also applicable to our perspectives when it comes to people. When we are outsiders looking in, what we can view is limited.

You can observe a person’s behavior, but you can not fully perceive who they are based on that limited view. It’s when you are granted access to what’s inside that you can better estimate or deduce…even then, the perception may be skewed based on your personal experiences. Here’s a light example: if you were to look through my living room window and see that there are multiple video game consoles, you might deduce that playing video games is a regular activity of choice for our household. However, it is rare that we all engage in that activity.

How about this for a better example: today after dropping my sons off at cadet camp on my way to work, I observed what appeared to be a conflict between mother and son. I only briefly heard part of the exchange, but I would soon find out that she was requesting him to remove his earring and give it to her. I was getting ready to pull off, but from my rear view mirror I saw her pretty much chasing him. I parked and got out of the car to try to peacefully intervene. When I approached them, I began speaking to the young man and his mom. He said “No one will ever listen to me.” I told him that I was willing to hear what he had to say, but I also helped him understand the importance of being respectful. She then mentioned that she was going to go sign him in. While his mom was inside I continued to communicate with him. He expressed that she had previously permitted him to wear the earring so it was upsetting that she changed her position on today. She returned to where we were and perhaps the corporal asked about the young man and he then came outside. We all talked and then the corporal stepped away with the young man. It was at this time that the mom disclosed to me that he was adopted. She said she had him since he was 9 days old. She mentioned that he lacks for nothing and that the family had just returned from a nice vacation. She said that he just likes to have his way and he just doesn’t like when she tells him what to do. I mentioned to her that it may be possible that he has resentment towards his birth mother that manifests in defiance towards her. I’m an outsider looking in, so I really can’t say…but I took that moment to enlighten her that there may be something deep rooted within that she can’t see from the outside. I asked if it was ok for me to pray with him, she agreed and I did. Before I left, he walked over to her and hugged her. Those doggone allergies started getting the best of me 😊. I told her I would be praying for them both and I did just that when I got back in my car.

I shared this experience to encourage you to not make concrete assumptions from the outsider’s position. That isn’t always a great vantage point. If you’re in a home and you look OUT of a window, chances are you would see more than if you were on the outside peering IN. Be open minded.

I leave you with this final thought:

“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.” – Robertson Davies

The Halves & The Half Nots

by Danielle N. Hall

7/6/2016

All this week I’ve had on my mind a famous line by Chuck Brown: “Whatever you do big or small, do it well or don’t do it at all.” This is one of those simple, yet profound statements. My late grandmother had another way of saying it that may not be suitable for all audiences, but even from her creative way of expressing the same message, I understood the importance of striving for excellence.

What we input has a direct effect on the output we yield. The “Halves” are those who engage in half-hearted efforts and will later find that their output leaves something to be desired. The job gets done, but there are some elements missing that could’ve enhanced the outcome. The “Half Nots” are those who put their entire hearts into what they are doing whether they are on a mission to buy a greeting card, completing a major work project, or any other endeavor.

Sometimes, when we don’t understand the value of certain opportunities, we tend to fall in the category of the “Halves”. For instance, I can recall while being in high school being afforded the opportunity to take college courses as a part of the HI-SCIP (High School College Internship Program). The first semester, I enrolled in a psychology class and I enjoyed it. I paid attention, learned much, and applied myself. I earned a B in that class. The 2nd semester, I was enrolled in a World History class which wasn’t of interest to me so I took a half-hearted approach and squandered the opportunity. I earned a D: an outcome that certainly left more to be desired by me.

That experience was both a learning and a teaching point for me. I just recently shared with my children the contrasts in the outputs based on my inputs. I’ve learned to not waste valuable opportunities by having the mindset of the “Halves”. If I am going to do it, whether it’s big or small, I’m going to do it well or not do it at all. Consider me a “Half Not”.

In which of the two groups are you?

Decisions, Decisions

by Danielle N. Hall

6/27/2016

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”–Roy Disney

This is a small, practical example of selflessness. However, I’ve found that making decisions of the like have yielded great blessings! Don’t hesitate to be a blessing…the results are priceless!

Philippians 2:4 (NKJV) Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

The 5 Words That Blessed My Life

by Danielle N. Hall

6/14/2016

I’m sure many of you have had some interesting, memorable interactions in the workplace. I tend to have them in my everyday life…in various settings. I guess the real reason I’m not drawn to amusement parks is because each day of my life is an adventure. I’ve got a host of stories to share! I’ll admit that I wasn’t as welcoming of some experiences, but maturity has caused me to embrace a Romans 8:28 mindset: I truly accept and believe all things are working for my good and for His glory.

One story I’d like to share is from a workplace experience I had in 2005. If I could describe it in a picture, I’d say it was a….this:

I was in a season of transition, yet a state of contemplation. My mind perceived that change was necessary, but my heart hadn’t quite accepted that it was time. This is because I’m usually not a quitter. A wise person once told me that a season is an appropriate period, but a moment is an appointed time. While I was preparing for the inevitable as best as I could during that season, a request came my way that initially shocked me, but it was just what I needed to make it clear to me that it was time. This was the request made to me in 5 words: “I want you to quit.”

Let me be VERY real: I was offended…ESPECIALLY since I went above and beyond my call of duty and there was no explanation behind the request. However, I was also relieved because I had already been searching for another option and I had an interview scheduled on the next morning. In hindsight, I view those 5 words as God’s way of telling me it was time because He knew that even though I was frustrated, I probably still would have had trouble leaving because I’d consider all of the great experiences I had at that establishment.

Now that I’m older and wiser, I recognize that what we need may not be presented in the most appealing packaging. If I hadn’t heard those 5 words, I may still be painfully sitting on the fence. The moment had arrived and I would’ve missed it. It takes maturity and the right perspective to understand and embrace the following about life:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NIV) There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Some of the greatest blessings that I’ve received came wrapped in peculiar packaging, but I’m grateful. I’ll leave you with this final note:

#SHIFThappens

Unnecessary Roughness

by Danielle N. Hall

6/2/16

MOMENT OF THOUGHT:

Just before reaching the office this morning, the phrase “unnecessary roughness” crossed my mind. It led me to begin to think of how we are sometimes too hard on ourselves. This unfortunate fact can be attributed to (but isn’t limited to) past rejection or hurt from others, embracing the standards of others, or having a propensity to please people. In these situations we tend to lose ourselves and the inclination to love ourselves.

MOMENT OF TRUTH:

For years, I focused the majority of my energy on comforting and loving others and sacrificing for them. It took some time and courage for me to decide that I was going to start making sure I invested in my own happiness and well-being, too. The above picture represents one of such investments. It was taken at the Red Door Spa on my birthday last year. I’ve made an executive decision that this would be a consistent treat for me. Sadly, though, when I initially made the decision I actually felt a little bit guilty and I started to beat up on myself. This is because I’d grown accustomed to neglecting me. I began thinking about how finances are limited and how that money could be better utilized for a household need. Then when I began to reflect on how relaxing and rejuvenating the Red Door experience was, the guilt started to fade away. There are other ways that I’ve been less than kind to myself in the past, but I’m learning to be more loving and caring to me.

MOMENT OF THANKS:

There is a multitude of ways to be kind and gentle to ourselves. Consider the following activity that I thought of this morning:

Write a “Thank You” note to yourself. This may be a little unusual because often when we reflect we focus on struggles, headaches, heartaches, and bad choices. Today, however, I encourage you to do something strange for a change. While you write, sing to yourself the following lyrics: “Loving you is easy ’cause you’re beautiful.”

Oops, I Did It Again!

by Danielle N. Hall

5/31/16

Living these on-the-go lives, we are often rushing and ignoring a few minor details that could actually make a major difference. A common gaffe happens in written communications: especially text messages. This is true for email communications as well. Oh, and let’s not even talk about the wolf in sheep’s clothing: otherwise known as Auto-Correct.

Recently, a question was posed on Facebook: “What is the difference between a queen and a quean?”

Phonetically, there is no difference. However, there IS a significant difference in the meaning of the two: one’s an honor and the other’s a dishonor. I jokingly responded to the question in this manner: “My now and my then…lol”.

Let me further illustrate…

VS.

The difference in these two homophones is distinct and is a prime example of why we ought to slow down and pay attention to details. I’m not sure how a lady would feel if she received a message that said: “You’re my quean and I’m gonna make sure I treat you like one.” I know that THIS lady would have her left eyebrow raised so high it’d reach her hairline.

NOTES TO SELF & YOU:

1) Slow down. Spellcheck. Send.

2) Pause. Proofread/Peruse. Proceed.

#ALLlettersmatter

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Wait Well

Danielle's Place

One of the hardest things to do in life is wait…

“The common man prays, ‘I want a cookie right now!’ And God responds, ‘If you’d listen to what I say, tomorrow it will bring you 100 cookies.”–Criss Jami

Romans 8:25 (AMP) But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait eagerly for it with patience and composure.

May God grant you the grace to wait well for your 100 cookies!

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Unfinished Business

by Danielle N. Hall

5/25/16

Have you ever been working really hard and making great progress, but then you wind up tripping up and experiencing a setback? It is quite possible that a minor detail with major impact was missed: a loose end.

MacMillan Dictionary defines loose ends as “the final details or parts of something that you have not yet completed or dealt with”. Considering this definition, a loose end represents a lot.

PAUSE AND PONDER

What minor detail in your life have you not completed or dealt with that can cause a significant setback? Here are some examples:

Unpaid parking tickets

Failing to adjust the clocks during time changes

Forgetting to pray before making a major decision

Forgetting to apply deodorant 😊

Not calling to make payment arrangements

Not scheduling that annual physical

Not calling that relative who was placed on your heart

Closing, but not locking doors of the past

These are just some examples of small details that can have a significant impact. When you think of an untied shoestring, it doesn’t start out as a big problem, but after a while of walking on loose ends, you will notice that a bit of unraveling begins to take place and trying to relace an unraveled string can be a pain.

FINAL THOUGHT

Haste makes waste. It would be unfortunate to have gone full speed ahead and have invested much time in doing great things, but have a small bit of unfinished business that comes to the forefront and causes a setback. Let’s examine our lives and detect and tie up those loose ends so that our labor will not have been in vain.

Dirty Little Secrets & The Little White Lie

Danielle's Place

by Danielle N. Hall

4/26/16

I can’t believe what “he” did to me
It’s truly a crying shame
Who is this “he” you might be asking
Well, there are too many to name

“He” touched me when I was little
In places that were meant for my spouse
I was nervous AND I was afraid
Yet I remained as quiet as a mouse

“He” asked me “Are you ready?”
Inside, I had screamed “NO!”
I wanted to run, but was paralyzed by fear
And I could not manage to go

“He” didn’t have a knife
Nor did “he” hold a gun to my head
“He” stood there ready to conquer
But used manipulation instead

“He” whispered in my minor ears
And said “If it’s all night, it’s all right!”
The next day we entered a secluded place that was void of both safety and light

“He” kissed me and then…

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